Friday, February 5, 2010

Internal interrogation

I've had a particularly stressful week.  Some fundamental mistakes have been made...by me over the last 6 weeks of my new job.  I have noticed some and have corrected my proceedures to stop these mistakes being made again only to find yet another mistake etc.  I am hoping and praying that I have found all the cracks that things can slip through now but I don't know how many more of these mistakes are going to be found.

Now while I have been finding and correcting I've felt bad but still reasonably confident in my ability, however, others are also finding the mistakes and little things have changed as well as a dressing down in the office by the boss in front of everyone else. (He's like that!)

I'm now struggling with my confidence.  I am any good at this?  Have I ever been any good at this?  Was I too proud and now having to fall?  Where is the line between being confident in your abilities and being proud and boastful?  Where is the line between being humble and self deflating or even worse appearing like you are fishing for compliments.

I'm noticing that my stress levels at work are increasing daily with the whole stomach acid, chest tightening thing happening.  It is time for some serious prayer I think.

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